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No One Brings a Lasagna When a Marriage Dies: Divorce Grief with Oona Metz

"No one brings a lasagna when a marriage dies."

In this episode of Grief'd Up, host Rebecca Feinglos welcomes Oona Metz, a therapist with over 30 years of experience who specializes in divorce support and runs weekly divorce support groups for women in the greater Boston area. 

Oona grew up as the "unpaid therapist" in her own family, shaped in part by her parents' divorce when she was six. But nothing prepared her for navigating the intersection of divorce grief and death grief simultaneously. She opens up about how yoga became an unexpected lifeline, revealing her strength when she thought her emotional brokenness meant her body would be broken too. And Oona shares her personal journey through divorce at 41, losing her best friend Judith to breast cancer just three weeks later, all while raising a two-year-old.

Rebecca and Oona explore the "hidden losses" of divorce that go unrecognized, like time with your kids, in-laws who became family, friendships that evaporate, and identity as a married person. They discuss why divorce carries more stigma than death (it's somehow "your fault"), why nonprofits serving divorced women can't get grants unless they add widows to their mission, and the painful reality that society has no rituals for supporting people through divorce.

As the author of Unhitched: The Essential Divorce Guide for Women, Oona breaks down her five phases of divorce grief: Heartbreak, Roller Coaster, Mending, Letting Go, and Moving On, emphasizing these aren't linear stages but a framework offering hope that the pain does shift. Join Rebecca and Oona as they make the case for treating divorce more like death when it comes to grief support because both involve loss, transition, identity shifts, and joining a club you never wanted to join, but that has the most incredible members.

PLUS: Join Oona and Rebecca IRL at our Anti-Valentine's Day Sad Hour!

Roses are Red, We're Feeling Blue: An Anti-Valentine's Day Sad Hour
Friday, February 13 | 5-7 pm EST | Nanas Rockwood Private Dining Room, Durham, NC

Valentine's Day season can be…a lot. If you're freshly heartbroken, newly divorced, stuck in a waiting period, long-since divorced, "fine" but not really, or just tired of pretending this doesn't count as grief, this one's for you. Your $35 ticket includes one drink ticket and hors d'oeuvres by renowned Durham Chef Matt Kelly.

Get tickets: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/roses-are-red-were-feeling-blue-an-anti-valentines-day-sad-hour-tickets-1981441077602?aff=oddtdtcreator
Questions? hello@grieveleave.com

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