Grief, Player Care, and the Hidden Costs of Elite Sports with Hugo Scheckter

 "My first thought was, this is really bad timing because we had a difficult away game."

In this episode of Grief'd Up, host Rebecca Feinglos welcomes Hugo Scheckter, founder of the Player Care Group, for a conversation that moves between professional football clubs and deeply personal loss. Hugo shares his journey from coaching to pioneering player welfare in Premier League soccer, and how losing his sister Ila in 2019 changed his relationship with work, grief, and what truly matters.

Hugo opens up about that first devastating phone call and his unexpected reaction: worrying about inconveniencing his employer. This moment sparked a reckoning about the all-consuming nature of elite sports and led him to eventually leave his role at West Ham to start his own company. Five years later, he's still grappling with that initial response, even as he's built a career helping organizations better support their athletes during life's hardest moments.

Rebecca and Hugo dive into the uncomfortable phenomenon that Hugo calls "grief farming" in sports media: the exploitation of athletes' personal tragedies for clicks and engagement. From coaches being asked about dead children after championship wins, to fans wearing deceased family members' names on jerseys, they explore where the line falls between genuine support and performative sadness. Hugo argues that grief belongs to the griever, and media coverage should follow their lead rather than chase viral moments.

The conversation also reveals the hidden pressures facing professional athletes: players who skip their children's births to avoid losing their starting position, goalkeepers whose time off for bereavement depends on the quality of their replacement, and the constant fear that being "out" means being forgotten. Hugo explains how elite sports create a reality where normal grief processes become nearly impossible, with consequences that may surface only years later when careers end and priorities shift.

Join Rebecca and Hugo as they challenge assumptions about grief in the public eye, examine what athletes sacrifice beyond their physical health, and consider how we can all show up better for people navigating loss, whether they're millionaires or not.

Link to Shane Battier episode: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/griefd-up/id1759459228?i=1000672497190

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