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How Families Are Spoken To After a Death Can Shape Their Grief Forever – with Julia Samuel

"When somebody dies, the single thing that enables us to survive is the love and support of others."

In this episode of Grief'd Up, host Rebecca Feinglos welcomes Julia Samuel, one of the world's most influential voices in grief support. Julia is a psychotherapist with over 30 years of experience, founder patron of Child Bereavement UK, and author of Grief Works, This Too Shall Pass, and Every Family Has a Story. She's also created the Grief Works app and co-hosts the Therapy Works podcast with her daughters.

Julia opens up about growing up in a family where loss was everywhere but never discussed. Her mother Pauline lost her brother in World War II, her sister, and her father by age 25, yet none of this was ever talked about. When Pauline finally spoke about her brother's death 40 years later, it was as if it had happened yesterday—completely unprocessed trauma.

At 29, Julia walked into her first bereavement support visit and knew she'd found her calling. She went on to spend 25 years at St. Mary's Hospital supporting families when babies and children die, becoming the first person to hold that role.

Rebecca and Julia explore how healthcare systems often fail grieving families. Julia shares what compassionate death support should look like: healthcare practitioners should know the person's name, read their notes, listen first, and remember that families will replay your words for the rest of their lives. The window between diagnosis and death is tiny; healthcare providers must create space for acts of love and help families avoid regrets. The conversation turns to COVID-era losses and the devastating impact of not being able to properly mourn. 

Join Rebecca and Julia as they challenge how we talk about death in families and healthcare systems, offer hope to those who missed traditional mourning during COVID, explore the art of listening, the most essential tool in supporting the grieving, and hear Rebecca’s special story about Princess Diana and her mother.

We're honored to offer Grief'd Up listeners an exclusive 10% discount on the Grief Works app. Download it today and use our special promo code GWGL10.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

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